the liberated me!!!!!!!!!

2007-06-05T05:03:00.000-07:00

Tracked
----------------------------------
I was tracked by the goons for being harmless,
I was tracked by the policemen for being not harmless,
I was tracked by the society for being asocial,
And I was tracked by the antisocial for being asocial,
I was tracked by the asocial for becoming socially and antisocially asocial.
I was tracked by the animal lovers for patting a stray dog with muddy hands,
and I was tracked by the watchmen for loving the street heir.
I was tracked by the shadows for living in light,
and the light tracked me for turning to see who was behind.
I was tracked by the kids for being adult,
and the adults tracked me for not acting like adult.
I was tracked by the prospective groom to make his nights,
and I was tracked by the marriage bureau for they represted the groom's side.
I was tracked by my parents for having an affair,
and I was tracked down by my boyfriend's mysterious woman
I was tracked by life for being scared,
I was tracked down by death for it was in direct competition with life dear.
I was tracked by a distant lawyer for inheriting the chest of treasure,
and I was tracked by poor for handling my treasure affair,
I was tracked by the rich for becoming super rich
and I am still being tracked by my thoughts to write this blog.
I am being tracked by spammers for spamming me,
Communist track me for tracking the tracks,
Capitalist track me for being tracked by communist.
Liberals track me because I advocate rights and yet am a straight which for them is a disguise.
I am tracked by guys for having sexy lips
and I am tracked my girls for having sexy lips,
The social network tracks me for having a profile.
The thoughts track me for having a mind,
Air tracks me for having life,
The underworld tracks me for not having anyone else to track
and the moon tracks me because I just got new tracking shoes
My adrenaline tracks me to the unknown,
My fear tracks me from the known,
The cartoonist tracked me to make a cartoon
Ahhh and so became the united tracking universe
and now the authors track me for uniting the world.

2007-06-05T01:07:00.001-07:00

Passion of darkness
-----------------------------------------------------
As darkness grew, and not a word could be heard,
Stood on the high of the highest building,
a petite figure, loose hair,
with wind caressing her entire form,
the shyness of a ordinary being,
transformed into a light of passion.
The stars her distant love,
the essence, her own home.
She stood and the eyes changed,
There stood the princess of darkness,
Demanding the nature to obey her,
The fury of passion unleashing through her eyes,
Touching invisible but visible did it seemed
The clouds tried covering the stars,
It thundered and lightening stuck,
But nothing was more intense then her passion,
The clouds melted under her heat,
Raining and drenching, only to make her now a queen,
The stars shone and flickered and so did she.
The dance had begun of the existence,
With every drop of water, the stars flickered more.
And there she stood the silent girl with passion oozing out.
Staring and silencing the silence,
Lightening fell before her feet as a mark of respect
Thunder was the music, wind was the messenger,
and stars blinked more.
Yet she stood eyeing the stars,
and out came the moon.
There under the spell,
She danced the dance of trance,
mesmerised by her own mesmerising form.
The meeting had come to a beginning,
promising the end to never end.

2007-05-19T03:51:00.000-07:00

I am acting as a messiah for myself

Just got the thought, as to why many a times a torment myself with unnecessary tortures, I mean plain word Guilt and then find out ways and measures to overcome it.

Well this is funny, I mean the realization is funny. I realized that it's pretty normal, I exercise role of being messiah to myself. Since I have decided not to be a messiah to anyone, feel great and proud that I am bigger and better then someone, I do it to myself.

Since I don't run into too many of complications involving normal human behavior. Well I take pride in calling myself insane and being human and yet not human. So the guilt makes me feel like human beings and then the messiah in me helps me overcome it, hence I feel like a evolved human being, a warrior and a achiever after fighting and conquering guilt.

Helps me with two main problems, firstly this is a good time pass. Being happy and trouble free at times becomes boring, hence the best kinda time pass is to get involved with mind and start watching it. But since I am also actively living in the world, at times I find my self out of place and to understand the world at large, I help myself with guilts and emotional outburst and then win myself with my own believes and miracles, hence strengthening faith in my messiah. LOL. I always knew I am funny and illogically logical.

2007-05-10T04:06:00.000-07:00

Finally the storm passed. It was not too good neither that bad. Just shook me apart. Tore me, and then left as silently as it came. Finally the cluttered thoughts have been destroyed. Feeling very weak, but very strong. The mist seems to clear. At the early hours of the morning, amidst of nightmare after nightmare, I found myself getting up and full of fear. The curtains were all blowing and floating in the room. Room felt very cold and yet I was sweating. The thought of being watched and attacked came, but one 4 words came all of a sudden,"will of a man". The words have grown strong in my mind. Something strange and yet I feel peace just chanting these words. They are like mantra.

2006-11-13T08:37:00.001-08:00

I never believed in Destiny, I always believed that I can write my own destiny.

Though at times my this belief was challenged and there were times when a doubt rose but as 'they' say the good fight. Finally I understood the meaning of the good fight. I have never believed in good and bad, so it was difficult for me to understand the word good fight.

Here I stand today, wounded, tired but full of enthu. Tonight as I open my arms, I feel happy. Tonight I know the good fight is the fight fought for own self and being proud of it, a journey to get rid of the burdens of the world and of all the unwanted guilts( guilt is always unwanted:) something the world desperately wants you to carry). Tonight I stand flowing and mixing with the entire universe. No longer longing to be accepted, because the entire universe is my home, it's my wish to accept and reject, since the universe is my home and not vice-versa.

This is what freedom means to me!!! Loving my life.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As I lay tormenting myself with the images of ghosts and evil lurking around me.
I realised the joke of century that lucifer forgetting she is the biggest devil. Lol...

2006-04-09T23:17:00.000-07:00

A day lived is better than an entire life unlived.

Yesterday when I was seeing in the sky, a bird circling around. For a moment I felt it saw me with saddened eyes. I felt as if it looked lonely and was eyeing Marlboro and iPod in my neck. I felt as if it heard the song “Bitter sweet symphony”. I just imagined how about if I get a chance to sit on the bird, I can go out into the sky, will offer her(bird) one of the cords and will also share her my cigarettes

. What a wonderful feeling it will be? Both of us in the sky floating and floating and smoking and floating and listening to music and nodding our heads. What if even they have the rules of flying and we break them. What if in their community also smoking is seen as a sign of bad manners. Lol it will be fun, she will be the first bird to break the rule. Encircling and encircling, there goes all the buildings, we passing by a hoarding which advertises cigarette, and two naughty riders stay there giving a pose, but ofcourse we are the proud cigarette smokers. So we both smoke before the hoarding and leave a puff. The puff encircles and mixes with the clouds. There we take a full circle and zoom we are off again. There is a train going below us we track its full length, the birdie says it has never enjoyed the flight, this way, seems as if she has its wings for the first time. We keep on flying and smoking and listening to the music. Till that time the list on my iPod starts playing Ozzy “ Crazy but that’s how does it goes”, my sweet companion actually speeds up. She starts going crazy. Nodding her head, looking up at me, even turns upside down, hehe, she takes a dive, I am holding on to her and screaming, she keeps going down ,touches the surface of the sea and the same way above, mid way it spins , I have never felt this kind of excitement, mixed with fear and the unknown boundaries that surrounds me surfacing and disappearing before me. Suddenly everything calms down…shit can’t believe the song ended, the birdie is flying as if she has always flown this way. Ahh its Anoushka Shanker.. lol…We pass through a big mango tree and we drink the mangoes. Birdie makes a hole in the mango and I fix a straw in it. We both rest for a while sipping the juice and just closing our eyes in the shade of the leaves.

Off we go again, this time on the highest peaks that touch the sky, there sitting we speak our hearts out. I was surprised to know that even the birdie feels trapped. Birdie I mean she flies in the sky. I thought the sky is the universe but she feels empty and lonely after being in the sky. Afterall the sky too has its limits or rather everything is limitless, its our own limits and we perceive that things can be gathered, they are limited. Sitting with her there on top, I first time felt at home. Into the silence I felt at ease. The sky was just resting on the peak, I had heard in my world that the sky and the earth do not meet and here I was sitting on a mountain,made of earth and the sky touching me. I told birdie and she looked up at me with questioning eyes, as if to say “ So what?” She was bored of such scenes.

In my world only sages and great souls get such an opportunity. Strangely birdie would have been a great sage there, and here lying before me I see her as a bored person. She asked me, “Raven do you ever feel to die?”, “Are you scared?”, “What does life mean to you?”, “Who are you?” , “Do you ever feel bored?”, “What does love mean to you?”, “Can you ever compromise on your happiness, even though you will be called evil?” ,”What is freedom for you?”
Taking a deep breath I had no idea how do I tell her that I can tell her that I feel like dying every minute, infact so much so that I live by dying every minute I have lived and than taking birth every minute I decide to live. Yes I am scared, I am scared, but its fun to know that you are not perfect. Am scared of lifts , am scared of staircases, am scared of being in my world, am scared of everything that is not me, the fear is so much that it has become numb in me just like the pain in me. Yes, I am scared and am scared not to accept it.

Life to me means every second I breathe, life to me means being responsible of my own actions, sometimes even writing shit and living the shit. Life to me means freedom of not categorizing rights and wrongs. Life to me means to live to my fears too. Life to me means just letting go, it means achieving for my own self. Life to me means to just decide my own death, my own companions, my own existence. The minute I live for others I feel bored. I live to my own terms , which I don’t like to make. I donot know either Mr. Evil or Mr. Good and neither am I going to vote them for ruling the world. All I know is I have a right to be happy, either way.This is my freedom, my life.

We looked into each others’ eyes each understanding the feelings and the pain we carried. The secrets unsaid was heard , looking into the sky, she suddenly asked “Don’t you want to still fly high?”

Yes damned yes…ofcourse….this is the answer the true answer to all the questions she had asked me….to fly high…when sitting on the highest peak I thought I am happy and the cause was my world, the truth was I wanted to still fly high because like her I understood that there is no limit and we are boundary less…this is what is love, religion, everything. Yes, this is what I have always wanted, this is why I was so unhappy and lonely because I stayed back, when I wanted to rise high. This is in my mind’s eyes I saw my soul rising high…this is what was the ultimate freedom…to keep on rising high….

Birdie got up and asked me for more cigarettes and with a wink pointed towards the sky and said whenever I wish we can go for a ride. No doubt that is why we both felt so much at peace while smoking, the puff encircling and rising high shows us the true spirit of ours. With couple of cigarettes we started back, both towards our destination back, to both of our worlds. Birdie and I had a deal of living like this time and again and forever and ever and experimenting with new destinations and new heights and smoking the best of cigarettes and listening to Ozzy and just living towards the life itself.

2006-04-05T21:33:00.000-07:00

I am a traveller, walking is my passion,
I have lived my life this way,
Am not used to the other way,
All my life I have just traveled.
Yes, I am a human being,
Am hypocrite by default.
What do you want from me,I cant understand?
I have lived all my life this way,I dont understand any other way.

Hey you watching me,
You say I should carry people with me
Like dead memories where ever I go
With them should I feel lonely
Sing in deserts of my past
But you forget I am a traveller
Have walked millions of miles

I carry food enough for a while
I agree I am a hypocrite by default
But this is too much
I can live on stale food for a while
Can call it fresh before others
But cant lie to myself

For me memories are like food
I can carry it for a while
My heart feels hungry
It blames me
It says I am guilty
It pounds on any memory that comes its way

Now like my tummy it has started feeling at home
The way I drink little water from fresh springs
The way I taste the deliciousness of wild berries.
Same way my heart sings in happiness when it sees the first rays
It fights with the heat
It lies in the arms of forests
It feels the warmth of the sand
It loves to make love to the wild and untamed

I know Mr. Watcher you still keep on criticising
my passion
Because in your memories you have seen me dead
and without a will to live
I donot blame you because you are also a humanbeing
and humanbeings are hypocrites by default.

Mr.Watcher,Mr.Watcher whatever you have to say
But the only truth is I am living up my dreams....

2006-04-05T05:55:00.000-07:00

I am my own idol and ideal. No doubt thats why I love to stay idle...

2006-03-24T02:21:00.000-08:00

Just in love with these lyrics:

I am colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready

I am taffy stuck and tongue tied
Stutter shook and uptight
Pull me out from inside
I am ready I am fine

I am covered in skin
No one gets to come in
Pull me out from inside
I am folded and unfolded and unfolding
I am colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready I am fine

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Try to make ends meet
You're a slave to money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet yeah,

No change, I can change
I can change, I can change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
But I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no

Well I never pray
But tonight I'm on my knees yeah
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now
But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now
No change, I can change
I can change, I can change

But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
And I'm a million different people
from one day to the nextI can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no

I can't change
I can't change
'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Try to make ends meet
Try to find some money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the things meet yeah

You know I can change, I can change
I can change, I can change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
And I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no

I can't change my mold
no, no, no, no, no,
I can't change
Can't change my body,
no, no, no

I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
Been downEver been downEver been down
Ever been downEver been down
Have you ever been down?
Have you've ever been down?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sucker love is heaven sent.
You pucker up, our passion's spent.
My hearts a tart, your body's rent.
My body's broken, yours is spent.

Carve your name into my arm.
Instead of stressed, I lie here charmed.
Cuz there's nothing else to do,
Every me and every you.

Sucker love, a box I choose.
No other box I choose to use.
Another love I would abuse,
No circumstances could excuse.

In the shape of things to come.
Too much poison come undone.
Cuz there's nothing else to do,
Every me and every you.
Every me and every you,
Every Me...he

Sucker love is known to swing.
Prone to cling and waste these things.
Pucker up for heavens sake.
There's never been so much at stake.

I serve my head up on a plate.
It's only comfort, calling late.
Cuz there's nothing else to do,
Every me and every you.
Every me and every you,
Every Me...he

Every me and every you,
Every Me...he

Like the naked leads the blind.
I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind.

All alone in space and time.
There's nothing here but what here's here's mine.
Something borrowed, something blue.
Every me and every you.
Every me and every you,
Every Me...he

Every me and every you,
Every Me...he (x4)

2006-02-18T08:43:00.000-08:00

Liking the likes, missing the nothing to be missed, touching the air, nourished by un-nourished, bored by the most interesting things, interested in the not so interesting, revealing the unrevealed, running towards unachieved, running away from known, standing on no stand, floating in the vacuum, burning the cigaratee while letting it think the otherwise , making the music dance on my feet, revealing the unrevealed, unrevealing the most known, sitting on the cloud and spitting down, racing with the wind, capturing the uncaptured, kissing with passion, next wondering feeling as if never kissed, walking the no roads on toes and wondering how to walk the known roads without falling, laughing loudly when sadness is trying to surround, running around as if known for the first time the thrill of running, looking at a flower as if seeing it for the first time, laughing at a man in pain and feeling sorry for laughing, talking to strangers, silence with my friends, touching the sand and yet walking on it, feeling ahppy that it exists yet crushing it and feeling more happy to walk on it....

2005-12-24T05:16:00.000-08:00

I am the history of the future.....can anything stop me....am transparent and can take any shape....am air....sky...earth.....hhehehhehehhe

2005-12-17T03:44:00.000-08:00

Loving the love
As I neared u,
Touching your touch
as you touched me...
Waiting to hear you whisper my name
into the dark
and see u in morning
Isn't it love
which makes us rise again...
Ruling our own world
creating the sacred lands...
loving the love
because there is nothing else...
in you lies my world
my heart, my essence
in you lies the foundation of my dreams
your touch tells me I am loved
Isn't it love
that makes us the rarest of all
Isn't it love
that gives us strength to stand when no one can
Isn't it love
to walk matching each others' pace
loving the love
all the way
knowing I can count on you always
shedding all the masks
sharing our secrets, laughing little jokes...
eyes speaking the sacred words
the souls embracing, knowing the unknown
remembering the lifetimes shared with you
the divinity looks more divine
when I am with you
the passion which grows
is marked by the respect that holds
Isn't it love
when we speak nothing and yet everything gets unfold.....

2005-11-02T13:57:00.000-08:00

Whoz me??????
The question no longer lingers...I am the awareness...the raw awareness that is surrounded by the psyche....my experiences is not awareness...its a means to lead to awareness and hence is the maya....hey dont be scared am not serious person heheheehe...this is just my own realisations...To define for u my essence lies in just love, and since I found love the world seems more beautiful, the past feels more relevant and present mmmm heaven that too with the best of facilities ;)….I am a princess in exile and now met my prince mmmm just wondering how will it be to exchange vows in the sky and get blessed by the souls and angels…to honeymoon on different galaxies and live in ecstasy forever and ever….the universe rocks when two soulmates meets just wondering who will play the music ;) rolf
U might say thats not me…well we both are a part of eachother so I wont be complete without speaking about him….
I am mmmm u mean hobbies can check out, degrees not bothered about lol but in one word if u want to know me than am ‘I’ and pure ‘I’. A wanderer in search of nothing, a kid who likes to laugh and is still admiring and enjoying the process to grow, I am not the knowledge because that means responsibility and am not responsible for anything….am a drunkard gets drunk by bliss and live in ananda…I am not religious but a seeker, I am not a preacher nor a helper nor someone who has sympathy…I am love just pure love….and love is fearless, courageous and light….I am a shiny drop of water hidden in mist or a bird which wants to fly hence am Raven Mist….I am not a great person but in me u will find everything including shit hehehehe I do not revolve but evolve…as I do not reside in the world but the world resides in me……I am neither committed to anyone nor to anything nor even to myself…am just a free soul….if u wanna share urself u r welcome…whoever u r…but donot ever try to possess me because I hate possessions…keep smiling and loving….

2005-10-24T05:30:00.000-07:00

I came from womb and will go back to tomb....
Both are wonderful ladies....
who gave me life....
sheltering and nurturing me in their arms...
taking me into them selves when the world refuses my essence....

2005-10-24T05:24:00.000-07:00

It feels tiring to travel a while,
It is heartening to be at your side....

honesty feels great,
but it takes away everyone from your side....

Fear is an illusion,
and worst is the perception it drives....

In the fight you are alone,
your enemies are not someone or something,
but its all in your mind....

You have the wings but you think you cannot fly...
Its not the training but your self realisation
that will take you to new heights.....

2005-10-24T05:18:00.000-07:00

No words can express my hurt,
my tears are not my pain,they are the anger that swells,
my life is what a game....

where you clap when it hits me the most,
is it just the winning and losing of teh other person?????
what about me.....

the question lingers.....
the irony is I dont have to find out the truth,
but
a answer that can satisfy me well......

2005-10-24T05:15:00.000-07:00

When some one dies,
we say we will never forget,
but aren't we lying...
because sorrow doesnot stay forever,
even life thrives on the grave...
(flowers grow on it)
and we walk forward....

2005-10-24T05:11:00.000-07:00

The life and death has a common relative,
happiness and pain....

2005-10-24T05:02:00.000-07:00

when the going goes tough,
and the tough goes going,
then the world looks at u with mocking eyes and says,
" you can not a single mile."
but i got up and not have moved one but many miles....

2005-10-24T04:57:00.000-07:00

when in noise
you hear no voice....

when in rain,
you feel no pain....

when touching the sky,
you ask why???????

Than feel thyself,
the answers will come...
the realisations felt
and the unexpected occurs....
just love yourself and the voices will never be necessary to be heard
the sky wont be necessary to be defined
the pain will be no pain
your freedom lies in you....
rest everything makes you realise where u fall.....

2005-10-24T04:50:00.000-07:00

I want to be rain,
and touch the cheecks of the terrain.....

I myself want a life,
So that the world can revive...

Touching Jane on her eyes,
I want to run down a mile....

Pat on the roof tops and climb the ladder,
sit on the mountains and search underwater,

I want to shake hands with the outstretched hands,
I want to dance with the excitement of being found....

I want to be rain,
sing life to whatever has dried,
want to hear the farmers wonderful cries...

2005-10-19T08:38:00.000-07:00

The wings were broken
I acknowledge
I am the survivor
I acknowledge
Y do I want the world to acknowledge
when they disowned me
I still want to be their heroine
and hence want to shine
Am I not a hypocrite
Perhaps my pain is also at times my own shame
Want to run away...
but I end up hiding
hiding from people loving me
Am scared to be loved
I can love
i love to love
I pour myself to the world
but am scared when the love returns
it makes me attached
of attachments
which gave me lot of pain
let me be drunk
i cannot stand this

I can stand as a pillar for u
but the irony is I dont want anyone to stand with me
Nodoubt u love me
But it has sympathy
mixed in it
I want to be loved
without any reason
can u give me
ahhhh
now am asking
never knew I needed some
Not till now...
Because I thought souls have one destination
moksha is what they want to reach
I forgot that moksha can be found
in life itself
perhaps now is the time to not only heal
but let myself be loved and healed....

2005-10-19T08:22:00.000-07:00

Just now I looked up and saw the heading THE LIBERATED ME!!!!!
it seemed as if it is a different world
Am I really liberated...
I have never cared for words but dont they at times mock
Liberated hmmmm
thinking what it means....
it seems a weighted meaning
before writing y didnt I thought....

I dont know when next will I wear the mask of a critic
so let me write while the other side of me is lost
The coin has two sides....
than y have I acknowledged only one
when I know even I have the darker side
even when I think it is locked
Am I scared of remembering that I can be the face of same terror
which I hate
Ahhhhh
am I scared to see the ugly face
If I cannot stand my own self
than how do I proclaim that I love the world
what if I live in an illusion
If I have chosen a path that doesnot mean
I was the chosen
the mind does tricks and risks
it says u r the chosen
the messenger
the divine
hehhehehhehehhe
isnt this a great way my ego swells and shines
Am confused
dont know
at times i am true
full of love
but than that is very few
perhaps that is what I want to be
but right now what am I????????

2005-10-19T08:12:00.000-07:00

ahhhhh
I read watcher's blog today and saw a movie 'Yahan' both have made me realise that I really need to be me....
Am I really me...
Just showing love when in reality do I have hate too...
Today am reflecting casting my own face of a angel...
Fearing anytime will see a demon...
Hahahhahaaha
in fact am feeling good now once when am able to remove this mask....
What am I scared of...when I fear none....
Perhaps fighting hard I had put the face of a warrior when I had many more...
Talking to Star I realised I am still not healed...
There are days when I feel so beautiful...full of love...
I thought I healed people...
but was it not a plot...
of my own ego
of my own self
hehehheheeh
guys today I have got...
I have to let go of things...
but the problem is what r those things....
Just want to wander
and wander and wander
y do I have so many faces...
specially the one which makes me feel I am an angel...
hehheheeehehe
the heart knows my own thoughts
arent at times in the name of solitude...
I become greedy and let people to rot...
Am I what I am ...
hehehhehe
dont know...
the answer is difficult and yet i am scared to sort...

2005-10-14T09:29:00.001-07:00

I would have shone,
If I had a tomb.

But now when my chance
has come to shine,
I donot want to stand in the line.

Donot build tomb on me,
My soul is trapped and it wants to be free.

Just leave me where my feet would have stood,
Let my body blend itself
As my soul sees from far.

For you it is painful to see me decay,
Because you see death as an end,
Death was when I was alive,
Now when I am dead I am again alive.

My body has no meaning as I leave it behind,
I never looked on my past even in that life.
And now you want to make a tomb
to celebrate my that very life.

If you would have only been wise,
you would have just left me behind.
My spirit rises as I say,
Donot lay me...
Otherwise also I dont mind...

2005-10-14T09:29:00.000-07:00

I would have shone,
If I had a tomb.

But now when my chance
has come to shine,
I donot want to stand in the line.

Donot build tomb on me,
My soul is trapped and it wants to be free.

Just leave me where my feet would have stood,
Let my body blend itself
As my soul sees from far.

For you it is painful to see me decay,
Because you see death as an end,
Death was when I was alive,
Now when I am dead I am again alive.

My body has no meaning as I leave it behind,
I never looked on my past even in that life.
And now you want to make a tomb
to celebrate my that very life.

If you would have only been wise,
zyou would have just left me behind.
My pirit rises as I say,
Donot lay me...
Otherwise also I dont mind...

2005-10-07T14:44:00.000-07:00

I am the teaching of what I have to learn. I can only demonstrate what I am. What I do not accept for myself, won't consciously exist in the world, so it remains separated from its source, which means suffering. What I accept wholeheartedly, however, will exist in and way beyond it, because the world – this experience we create together – is not a closed universe.

We don't need special instruction. We only need joyful moments of recognizing and remembering, which playful learning actually is. Our knowing soul can take it from there and she won't be hindered by the distortions that every translation of inner truth involves.We are blowing in the wind, but we are also the wind itself. We are highly flexible, conscious energy, acting out all possible realities in the same moment is an explosion of creation, an act of God.
written by a wise man....name not known...

2005-10-07T14:08:00.000-07:00

I am free
bcoz I can even call myself shit...
Shit seems no longer a bad word,
bcoz perhaps am now free....
I can finally dance on the road,
Dont ask me to follow u,
I am now free.....
u r not my world
and neither me....
it feels so good to kiss the air,
to roll on earth....
to fall in love
heheeeeehhhheheheheehehe
I am free......

2005-10-05T01:55:00.000-07:00

I am sad when I want to give a reason to my happiness,
the mind says am guilty of being happy without any reason
Look at Ramina shez so happy,
its her bday
look at simon hez so happy
is going to marry
look at sam
She is first today
I look at my mind
and wonder how intelligent it is
How wise it is
true I am insane and it wants to save me
I look at it with guilt in my eyes
But than a bird fly past me,
without knowing I start walking behind it
The mind keeps on shouting
but the soul turns deaf to it
It walks for just seeing the bird fly
to look at it in wonder and cry
what else can make me more happy than
the wonder of this universe
and if this is the guilt
than am more than ready to bear
and prefer to fly

2005-10-04T23:18:00.000-07:00

There was a time when I was very religious...keeping fasts and bending my head before the God...but than one fine day when I was in severe pain I threw that most precious idol and tried to walk away...It was at that time I felt as if something was pulling me from that idol telling me to be calm...It said it loves me and the pain will end...From that time onwards the idol is a teddybear for me and I dont pray to it but love to hold it....sure did that teddy helped me to walk the toughest roads always hugging me and revealing the secret passages where not many have walked....
what I am i donot know...there are no questions in my mind....no answers I want to find...just want to stare at the sky and on the earth I want to lie....Every min. I feel blessed and now this is my religion and this is my very own God who as accepted me and let me accept him the way I wanted to....

2005-10-04T23:12:00.000-07:00

The darker side in me is very dark,
The lighter side in me is all light,
The thirst for the unknown is somehow known,
I am love I say,
yet my feet are chained with the remainders of the past,
of the cruelties of the world,
which still at times i try to wonder y i faced.

2005-09-20T22:21:00.000-07:00

Marriages are made in heaven
but than what is heaven
My marriage is all set
All I have to do is just head
my man waits above the world
The sky and the earth bless me as my parents
the moon luminates us....

2005-09-16T04:09:00.000-07:00

I just want to sit on your feet and weep,
To wash your feet from something which is my very own.
It has been tears I have accumulated all the way long.
So just want to sit on your feet and weep.
All the pain and agony,
The so called happiness and the like,
I have not been able to share any.
Tonight I want to surrender all to you,
I don't know it has been so long,
So just let me sit on your feet and weep.
The world wants to crown me,
but than only you know who is me?
The bondings and the longings all melt before you.
The tears have been filtered with unfiltered sieve.
Today crying also makes me realise 'me'.
So just let me sit on your feet and weep.
I have unsurrendered myself by surrendering to you,
What else can I long after longing to sit before you.
God I have seen not, but felt through your words.
Whom should I call one,
When he has already spoken by saying not,
Dear Cohelho, You made Veronica to define me,
Santiago to realise me.
My river Piedra ia your feet.
So let me sit on your feet and weep.
Say not anything, Ask not anything.
For words I have none.
The only thing is my unspoken words,
So please let me weep.
This body pains and heart bleeds,
I have so much to say,yet only u speak.
What have u given me, I cannot say,
The warmth of my tears,
is melting of my heart's desires,
the hurt and the love which is deep within me.
As they wash your feet.
I feel free,
So just let me sit on your feet, and weep............

For Dearest Paulo Cohelho whose words are sacred texts for me....

2005-09-15T05:26:00.000-07:00

I sang on a lonely road,
I am alive
With tears rolling down
for the gratitude of being myself

Among the wild I feel at home
to dance among them who dance wild
who need no class to dance
who dance to reunite with the universe
The song of passion
The song of love
The song of longness
The song of mystery
The song of nature
My feet shining in water
Air taking me into arms
water gushing around
Sun dancing on my skin
Making me hot and wild.

I am all yours
I want to cry
I am excited to the core
It just feels as if my gspot is being touched
I masturbate without touch
I am naked with my clothes on
Even the nature cannot resist me
My glowing eyes
My welcoming lips
My smooth skin
My petite body
My long smooth silky hair
It seems their are partners waiting
The breeze flew..........

2005-09-15T05:18:00.000-07:00

I am the 'nritya',u r my sangeet
Touch my hair like u do to a violin.
Your long fingers in my thick hair,
making them more sensitive to be heard
my body is like a sitar,
Play the right cord,
and I will be all yours.
My eyes long to be touched,
my body aches for this unison,
I want to dance on your beats,
MAke me wild and than see my dance.
My footsteps on your lap.
my passion is not to be ignored.
Its sensitivity that makes me
Touch me the way I can melt,
Make a way where I can go for a stroll.
Reintroduce me to myself
Touch my neck
It is wide
Same is my soul
Meet me where nobody can
Break the path and reach within,
Into the depths where everything falls.
The space would be space,
and yet it will be filled.